Chapter Five

Mrs. Lepley had just stepped out of a quick shower. She’d been busy at the library all day, what with waiting on the patrons and re-shelving books. She also had a little side project she was working on that she hoped would be completed before Sunday night. If all went well, it was going to be perfect.

She blew her hair dry, ran a brush through it, then went downstairs to see if Mr. Lepley was ready for supper before they headed out. Their church was hosting a tent meeting this weekend, and they had to be there in a little over an hour. Dinner would be leftovers, but Mrs. Lepley hadn’t a choice, really. Mr. Lepley wasn’t picky anyway. Besides, she’d made his favorite yesterday. He’d be more than happy to have it again.

While she was heating up the food, she had the strongest urge to pray for the night’s meeting. She always helped out as an altar worker, but tonight she felt the Lord impressing upon her a desperate need to pray, like there was a struggle going on with someone somewhere. She bowed her head and silently sent up a petition.

“Lord, I don’t know what You have planned tonight. I know last night was such a blessing, and we had a lot of visitors. I pray tonight that Your will be done. Please help anyone who is unsure whether they should come or not to make the decision to attend. It could very well change their life. I pray God You would use me as You see fit. Let Jesus shine like a beacon to the lost tonight. Fill the speaker with Your wisdom, and help hearts be softened and ready to hear Your Word. You’re so good to me God. Thank you for letting me serve you as a daughter. Please be with Sarah wherever she is right now, and let her know You love her. If she’s the one struggling, I pray Lord she will just give herself to you. If it’s someone else, I pray they would surrender to Your call. Thank you God for all that You do on my behalf. In Jesus name, amen.”

Peace flooded Mrs. Lepley, and she felt ready for whatever the Lord should send her way tonight. She looked over at Mr. Lepley who was perched on a stool at the breakfast bar. He glanced up to meet her stare and she smiled. He winked and went back to reading the paper. God had indeed been good to her, she thought.

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Monica was struggling. She wanted to make it to the tent meeting tonight. She knew she needed it desperately, but she needed a fix bad too. It was five thirty now. If she had a small hit it would wear off just before she would need to leave. But then would come the crash, depression and anxiety. Besides she didn’t have any in the house, and didn’t have time to go get some. She had a distinct feeling God wanted to change her life tonight, and she was determined not to mess it up.

My daughter, be still and know that I am God. Come unto me Monica. You are burdened and heavy laden. I will give you rest.

Monica didn’t know where the voice had come from. Was she imagining things? Remembrance washed over her, and she knew those words were in the Bible. Could God really be speaking to her after all the years she’d ignored Him, and all the horrible things she’d done to herself and Sarah?

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, Monica. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

The voice was as clear as if she were hearing it out loud. Surely it must be God encouraging her to go tonight. She decided to make an extra effort in preparing herself. She’d shower and clean herself up. Maybe even put on a dress. If
she did all that, maybe she could ignore the craving for a hit. She was desperate to change her life. She was not going miss this opportunity.

Monica was just stepping out of the shower when she heard banging on the front door. She didn’t dare look out the window. She was sure it was Joe wanting his money. Well, she just didn’t have it. She’d wait until he was gone before leaving the house. He wouldn’t understand what she was doing. If he did, he wouldn’t like it.

She continued to get ready amidst the pounding and swearing. Joe didn’t seem to be tiring, or leaving. Monica didn’t let it bother her. She’d gotten away from Joe plenty of times before and had always smoothed things over later. She dried her hair and curled it, ignoring the shaking in her hands. She was feeling anxious, too. And the depression was setting in. But her determination was greater. She knew in her heart if she didn’t make this meeting tonight she may never get another chance.

I will not leave you comfortless, Monica. My Spirit of truth abides in you. But without me ye can do nothing.

Now Monica was more determined than ever to make it to that meeting. She wouldn’t stay here and think about Joe, or the cocaine. Every minute she stayed, she weakened. She knew she could talk Joe out of his anger, but she couldn’t hold off a hit much longer. The voice in her heart told her she could do nothing without Him. She knew she must ask God for help. She wasn’t sure how to begin, it had been so long.

She threw her brush down onto the bed. “Jesus, I need help.” She said out loud. “I can’t do this myself. I want a hit so bad. I’m scared. Please, help me.” Monica fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands. She didn’t know how she would get away from Joe in this state.

A strength she hadn’t felt in years filled her. She finished her hair, dressed quickly, grabbed her purse and walked down the stairs before this feeling went away.

She could still hear Joe on the front porch pounding and threatening for all he was worth. Monica walked calmly into the kitchen and picked up the portable phone from its cradle on the wall. She dialed 9-1-1 and reported a disturbance. Then she hung up before they could ask her name. That should keep Joe busy for a while.

Monica picked up her keys. She couldn’t risk opening the garage. Surely Joe would stop her then. She went out the back door instead, locking it securely behind her. She went through her back yard toward the alley, then walked behind the other houses in her neighborhood toward Vine Street. The church wasn’t far. She would be there in time for the service. That voice inside her urged her on, and she didn’t dare disobey.

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Mr. and Mrs. Lepley had just pulled into the church parking lot. There weren’t many cars yet. They always came early to help with last minute set up. Of course there was a committee set up to handle the goings on of the meetings, but sometimes there were last minute emergencies. Tonight, however, there wasn’t much to do so Mrs. Lepley put her things on a chair and watched for new faces to arrive.

The crowd started gathering about ten minutes before the service was scheduled to begin. The worship team was on the platform playing soft worship songs and hymns as background music. The atmosphere seemed festive. The evening was pleasantly cool, people were chatting with one another, and the music was lively. Mrs. Lepley smiled as she looked around. It was going to be a good evening.

When she turned around, Mrs. Lepley noticed a woman walking timidly into the tent. She was dressed in a nice knee length summer dress. Her hair was done up, and it appeared she had been to church many times. But the nervous and unsure expression on her face gave away the fact she was a visitor. She was just the kind of person Mrs. Lepley dealt with best.

She walked up to the woman and held out her hand. “Hi there. My name is Joyce Lepley. Is this your first time here?”

The woman nodded. She seemed distracted and looked over her shoulder several times, as though someone were following her. The woman ran her hands down the front of her skirt to smooth it, then seemed to shake off her nervousness. She held out her hand and introduced herself.

“I’m Monica. Yes, this is my first time here. I was hoping I wouldn’t be late.” The woman tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked around at the people chatting in small groups. It was obvious to Mrs. Lepley that she was uncomfortable.

“Monica- what a lovely name. Tell you what,” Mrs. Lepley began, “my husband and I are sitting right over there. Would you like to join us? There’s plenty of room.” Mrs. Lepley took Monica’s elbow and lead her to the seats she had reserved. “You just get comfortable here and I’ll be right back.” Then she walked toward a group of women near the platform.

“Get comfortable, yeah right.” Monica thought to herself. How could she have thought God wanted her to come here? She wasn’t like these people. If they knew who she was or what she had done, they would make her leave for sure. Guilt flooded her heart, and she bowed her head in sorrow, covering her face with her hands, though she refused to cry.

Godly sorrow worketh repentance, Monica. I am your shield and your glory. I am the lifter of your head. Cry unto me, and I will hear you out of my holy hill. I have loved you with an everlasting love. Seek me, and you will find me when you have searched for me with all your heart.

Monica looked up then, as if she would see the Lord standing right before her. The words were so clear. There was no condemnation in the voice she heard. It was almost as if He were pleading with her to believe Him. She wanted to with all of her heart, but why would He want her back?

Surely she had gone too far out of His way to be taken in again. She had done too much, ignored Him for too long to ever be given another chance. Well, Monica decided, since she was already here she would stay for the rest of the service, then go home and forget she ever came.